'Darren and George' Read online




  DARREN and GEORGE

  Phil McNulty

  Copyright 2015. Phil McNulty

  ISBN 97813 10750 298

  Published by SeaQuake Books

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  1.CHARACTERS

  DARREN: Aged nineteen. Wearing denims and a hooded sports top.

  GEORGE HARRISON: Aged fifty six. Wearing denims and a casual shirt.

  2.SETTING

  A South Liverpool railway station platform.

  3.TIME

  A Summer evening. 5.30pm.

  4.THE SCRIPT

  A one act Play exploring the relevance of some of George Harrison’s ideas. Running time- 14-15 mins. Expletives may be added or deleted.

  SCENE: A bench on a South Liverpool railway platform. A middle aged man sits alone. To his right, some way from the bench and slightly forward of it, is a planter of flowers. As the scene opens, OFF STAGE, there is a sound of shouting, swearing and heavy footsteps.

  Darren and George

  A large youth runs on to the stage. He appears deranged. He is holding his head, shouting and moaning in anguish. He stands near the end of the bench raving and threatening.

  YOUTH: Bastards! Bastards! I’m going to fucking kill them! Bastards! (The Man looks in his direction.)

  YOUTH (Becoming aware of the Man’s presence.): You! You! I could fucking kill you right now. (Pause) You couldn’t do anything about it. (Pause) No one could save you! I could kill you!

  MAN (nodding): You probably could.

  YOUTH (Sitting on the end of the bench and pointing aggressively): Yeh. I could. I could snap your neck. Smash your face in.

  MAN. Have you had a bad day?

  YOUTH: Bad day. Bad fucking day. Feel this. (Points to his head.) I’ve a lump like a fucking egg. (The Youth moves along the bench. Man feels the lump.)

  MAN: Oh that feels bad.

  YOUTH: Of course it’s bad. You’d feel bad if you’d just been hit with a brick. (Man nods sympathetically.)

  YOUTH: I’m coming back with a posse. I’m just out of Youth Offenders, but I don’t care. I’m going to av em. (Standing and shouting with fists raised.) I’m going to av em!

  MAN: Do you think that’s a good idea? Isn’t it going to lead to more trouble?

  YOUTH: Too right it’s going to lead to trouble. (Shouting off stage to his aggressors.) They don’t know who they’re messing with! (He commences moaning and groaning, holding his head down.) Why me? Why me?

  MAN: Maybe you did something bad in a previous life?

  YOUTH: What the fuck are you talking about? You’re looking for trouble. You want a smack. Is that it?

  MAN: No I’m just trying to be helpful. Just trying to lighten the mood. (Pause) How long have you been out of Youth Offenders?

  YOUTH: A week. (Then, with bravado) I was in Glen Parva. (Pause) That’s a prison.

  (Silence)

  YOUTH: Aren’t you going to ask what for?

  MAN: I wasn’t going to, no.

  YOUTH (Jumping up.): I thought you were interested in me. You do want a slap don’t you.

  MAN: No really. I don’t. What were you locked up for?

  YOUTH (Proudly. Hands on knees. Puffed up. Straight to audience.): Grand Theft Auto.

  MAN: Oh. (Pause) That sounds very American. What is it?

  YOUTH: Christ! You know nothing do you. You’d not survive on the inside. Robbing cars. That’s what it is. And I got six months. How’s that fair?

  (The Man shrugs his shoulders.)

  YOUTH ( pointing aggressively): What’s that all about? I just asked you a question. How was six months fair? What’s your answer?

  MAN: Well it sounds like a long time. I suppose it was a bit grim in there.

  YOUTH: Yeh yeh yeh…but was it fair?

  MAN: Well maybe it was just the price you had to pay. There’s a price on everything these days.

  YOUTH: What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?

  MAN: Well you took the cars because you wanted something of value, something to sell or to look good in.

  YOUTH: So what?

  MAN: You probably weren’t thinking too much about the families who’d worked hard and saved up for those cars or how inconvenient it was that they went missing or how costly it was for them.

  YOUTH: What are you talking about? They’re all rich bastards who don’t deserve them and, anyway, they claim it all back on the insurance. So what’s the problem?

  MAN: Maybe you don’t understand them and they don’t understand you.

  YOUTH: How does that work? What’s there to understand?

  MAN: If we stop and see this from everyone’s point of view then the whole car thing looks different. You see a guy driving around in a Porsche. He looks successful and happy. He makes you jealous. But he isn’t happy. He wants to be happy and he thinks that having the car will fool people and that he can fool himself. But he can’t. You think he’s happy because you’re looking at it wrong way up. And because you’re not happy you want his car thinking it will make you happy. But it can’t. He sees the fact that you’ve stolen his fancy car as objectionable. He feels punished by you. He doesn’t see that he’s being objectionable by driving the car so he wants to punish you in return. The judge is also unhappy. He’s trying to make an unfair system work when he knows it can’t work. He might also drive a fancy car because he’s unhappy. (The Man spreads his hands as though this was self evident)

  YOUTH: Jesus Christ. What the hell does all that mean?

  MAN: It means that if everyone was looking at this properly the situation wouldn’t arise in the first place. If you had compassion and understanding for the man in the Porsche you wouldn’t have stolen the car. Instead you might have explained to him why it was not helping his unhappiness.

  YOUTH: And what would he have done? Only called the police! Got me arrested!

  MAN: He might have thanked you for helping him understand his unhappiness and offered you the car. Of course you would refuse the car because you don’t need it to make yourself happy.

  YOUTH: I’m sick of this. Why can’t you answer a simple question? Was six months fair or not?

  MAN (Spreading his hands and pausing before speaking): It’s probably not fair to anybody. It made you more unhappy and allowed the judge and the man in the Porsche to go back to their wrongheaded unhappy lives thinking they’d solved a problem.

  YOUTH: Well if someone robbed my car I’d want them put away. That’s if I hadn’t sorted them out first. Just like I’m going to sort the lad who did this. (He prods the lump on his head and recoils in pain) I’m bringing a posse tonight. All the hard lads from Birkenhead. We’ll come tooled up. (Shouting) They’ll pay for this!

  MAN (Shaking his head): I said before, I don’t think you should do that.

  YOUTH: Why? You don’t think I can handle myself. Is that it? You just watch it. I told you I could kill you and I can. I might just do it. (He stands up. Legs apart. Flexing shoulders. Fists clenched)

  MAN: No. Really. We’ve been through all that. You shouldn’t come back for revenge because you’ll end up in a lot of trouble.

  YOUTH: I can handle trouble.

  MAN: I’m only giving you advice. If you come back
with your friends you’ll be spotted as soon as you come into this area. You’ll be a threat. Instead of finding the lads who attacked you you’ll be an easy target for any of the local gangs. They know all the alleys and footpaths. All the hiding places. There are some big families round here. They stick together. You’ve got to be careful.

  YOUTH: You’re a coward. That’s what you are. I should kill you now.

  MAN: Well, I don’t think that would make you happy. And I don’t think coming back here for revenge would make you happy.

  YOUTH (jumps up): You’re mad you. You’re mad. It’d all make me very happy. Look! Look! (He grimaces a smile.) Even thinking about killing you makes me happy.

  MAN: I don’t think you’re happy at all. I think you’re depressed and bitter.

  YOUTH (Now standing): You’d be depressed and bitter if you’d just been hit with a fucking brick.

  MAN: You’re right again but I’d try to move on by being open and loving.

  YOUTH (Screaming): Who to? The lad with the brick!

  MAN: Well try to look at it from his point of view. He’s probably unhappy.

  YOUTH (Pointing aggressively.): You’re asking for it. You’re really asking for it. He’ll be as happy as a pig in shit after this. He’ll be the big man. The local psycho.